The Twin Cities Rainbow Chaser

moving across the country…to discover what God has in store

Being Still

I went on an excursion yesterday.  There’s a local “mountain” that I enjoy climbing.  There is a steep path that leads to the base of a pile of rocks.  Multiple crevices between the rocks make summiting an easy task.  It is a climb that I have done several times, each time enjoying it just as much as the last.  Sometimes I have someone to go with me, but more recently I’ve been hitting the trail solo…which I love.

A place to focus

When I am sitting on top of that little mountain all alone, the world tends to fade away.  It becomes easy to focus on things.  Yesterday, I focused on my life.  I talked to God about the overwhelming pressure that I am feeling from every side.  My parents are pressuring me to get a job, completely natural.  The problem is that they are pressuring me to get ANY job.  I don’t want any job…I want a job that will allow me to tap into my passion…go beyond myself…do something worthwhile!  It’s not just my parents, though.  My friends are starting to drop hints that maybe I should focus on the “now”…what can I do right now to better myself?  One friend said that I should just look at it as “just detouring” and another, after mentioning an opening in accounting (blah!) at her husband’s company, said she was “just letting [me] know there are options.”

With all of this, it’s easy to get overwhelmed.  I want to do what is right by God…not my parents, not my friends, not even me.  God’s plan is the only one that concerns me right now…and that’s what I could focus on while I was sitting on top of the mountain.

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A Day of Beauty

A beautiful thing happened today.  Well, actually, a lot of beautiful things have happened today.

  • There is the weather.  It’s cooling down.  Warm fall colors are popping up on the trees.  Leaves are gently gliding down from the tree tops.  The sidewalks have sufficient leaves to make an awesome crunching noise.  Beauty!!!
  • I got out of class early today!  Yep…and it was a horrible class: ECON.  Okay so, to be perfectly honest, economics is not all that difficult when I buckle down and focus all of my energies on figuring out the concepts/theories/etc.  But, it is boring…no matter what.  Today though, I got out early…almost an hour early (yeah, it’s a two-hour class on Tuesday and Thursday).
  • Free food.  I got a slice of pizza, ⅓ of a turkey-bacon-ranch sandwich, and a couple of pieces of fried fish.  What?  You think I’m a college student?  What would make you think that???
  • I passed…the…PRAXIS.  Praxis II: Elementary Education Curriculum, Instruction, and Assessment.  I took it on September 17 and I have been stressing out about it for the past few weeks.  The stress skyrocketed a couple of days ago when I started thinking about it a LOT more.  I have randomly felt the intense urge to curl up into a ball and cry.  I felt that urge overwhelm my soul as I sat in front of a computer in the computer lab in the education building on campus…trying to decide whether or not to click “View Scores”…but then I clicked…and I scrolled up and down several times until the word “PASSED” caught my eyes.  Yes.  I passed.  I almost cried.  Life is good.
Do you know what it is like to, all of a sudden, have this crazy huge weight lifted off of your shoulders?  I know that, weeks ago, I should have let God take this weight off of my shoulders.  But, I did not.  Here I am, though.  Reveling in the beauty that is success…bred only from the peace that comes from God.
Gotta love peace.
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It’s Not What You Know…

Yep, you know how to finish the sentence.  It’s who you know.  Recently it has come to my attention that I have some friends who are negative influences.  And the worst part about this discovery is that it involves one of my BEST friends…my ROOMMATE.  How tragic, unfortunate, depressing, awkward is this???

Now, don’t go jumping to an inappropriate conclusion.  M (we’re just going to call her that for ease of…use) is an awesome friend.  She calms me down when I start freaking out.  She makes dinner when I’m swamped and she comes up with great movies to watch.  She motivates me to work out and eat healthier (most of the time).  She’s smart (biology/chemistry major) and she’s really nice (next weekend she’s going to training to volunteer at a center for sexual assault victims).

BUT…there’s always one of these nasty little (or big, in my case) things.  She is incredibly pessimistic (she didn’t have anything good to say about her day today…she just complained about her micro teacher, her group in physics, and the cars during her run).  Sometimes she is just a jerk (like about this person in her physics group…and her anatomy professor…and her mom).  At this moment, she is sitting in the living room complaining about having to do test corrections for physics.

Okay, I must…MUST stop myself from doing this.  This is why she’s a bad influence.  When I am constantly surrounded by such negativity and pessimism, it becomes ingrained in my heart and my head.  I begin finding the dark side of every aspect of my life…classes, work, friends…pessimism is contagious.  But you know what?  God has this little thing called

PEACE.

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you: not as the world gives, give I to you.  Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid (John 14:27).

Gotta love when that great book called the Bible speaks to your heart.  It’s time that I let go of anxiety and strife.  Pessimism has no place in my life.

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Telling Doubt to “Shut Up!”

Would you like to hear something very sad?  The pastor of the church I am currently attending is sick…well, recovering from an oober infection.  So, he has not been in church for the past several weeks.  This means that various members of the church have been presenting the “sermon” over the past several weeks.  Last week, the lead guy in the worship team presented a “sermon”/lesson/devotion…yeah.  He shared story of Jesus walking on water from Matthew 14.  He shared this story and then moved on to a few points.  But, there is one that kind of stuck with me.

When we let doubt slip into our mind, we have a tendency to start sinking.  I completely understand this concept.  I started classes last week…and I’ve still been putting in 20-30 hours at work per week…and I started working on the school paper…and I’m on leadership for this other organization…and…good grief, it never ends.  This would all be fine and dandy if everything could remain calm and organized.  Does anything ever stay calm and organized?

ABSOLUTELY NOT.  It defies the laws of nature…like Murphy’s…or something like that (if anything can go wrong, it will…right?).  Anyways, enough science mumbo jumbo (I love how, after one sentence, I’m just done with it…I tried to help my roommate with her physics homework tonight…it was better than my econ homework).  So…parentheses killed my train of thought.

Little things start to go wrong…either I forget to do a homework question, or I miss a quiz question, or I don’t get an e-mail that I’m waiting for.  Those little things have no right to mess up my life.  Unfortunately, those little things weasel their way into my brain and begin to eat away at my self-confidence, but more importantly, at my reliance on God.  I like to think that I am strong and independent.  But without God, I am nothing.

I must never doubt that, no matter what kinds of weasels are living in my brain, God IS in control.  I have to tell doubt to “shut up” and get out of my brain…no weasels for me.  I’m more of a cat person.

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