The Twin Cities Rainbow Chaser

moving across the country…to discover what God has in store

Losing a Callous



For the past several weeks, I have been climbing regularly.  Last weekend, I noticed that my elbows were terribly achy, so I decided to scale it back a bit.  This weekend, I came home with a ripped up pinkie finger!  But, I refuse to let a bit of loose skin stop me from moving up.

See that?  It’s pretty mild compared to what I found when I googled “climbing callous”.  Apparently there are multiple schools of thought on callouses and how to maintain them, or whether or not they should even be maintained!


These bad boys are holding on!

That google experience also led me to consider the definition of a callous.  According to Merriam-Webster, there are two definitions of callous.  What I have is 1a: “being hardened and thickened.”  Well, that’s what I had…until I ripped my pinkie open.  I still have hardened and thickened skin in multiple places on multiple other fingers, though.

Back to handy dandy MW, though.  There’s the second definition set for callous: (a) feeling no emotion(b) feeling or showing no sympathy for others.  Sometimes I wonder if I am callous or have developed callouses in certain situations.  And I have no choice but to come to the conclusion that I have

There are certain things about which I am passionate, things that I value.  Towards everything else, I tend to have a more callous attitude.  Wow, that sounds terribly generalized doesn’t it?  So let’s get specific.


I love working with “at-risk” kids in high-poverty areas.  From what I read and learn, there are apparently a lot of people who don’t have a passion for these kids or who can’t handle working in that environment.  But I have a passion and I can handle the environment…so that is something that I want to pursue.  Kids who don’t fall into this boat…I couldn’t care less.  I am callous towards them.

But the winds of God are blowing…and the sailboat of my life could be heading into uncharted waters.IMG_1336

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Time for a Change

When I started this blog almost two years ago, I was trying to find something more.  I knew that I had fallen into the normalcy of being a Christian and I knew that the normalcy was hurting the relationship I was trying to build with God.  In my first post, I said:

“I do not plan on discovering the purpose of life in general.  But, I would like to figure out what exactly God wants of me while I’m here, living.”

As the blog continued, I took readers on a journey through my past.  I talked about the faults in my early years as a Christian and problems that I have with the world today, in my own personal life and in the greater scheme of things.  Most recently, I wrote about the problem I am currently facing, ya know, figuring out my life.  As I have faced this inner (and sometimes outer) turmoil regarding my future, I have taken note of songs that I hear at church.  Almost every week for the past several months, I have taken the time to jot down a few lines from a song that spoke to my heart.

This week, we sang the song “Oh, Love that Will Not Let Me Go” by the Robbie Seay Band.  There is a line that talks about tracing the rainbow through the rain.  But, I didn’t hear “trace”.  I heard “chase”.  Since then, that line has stuck in my mind.  Right now, that’s what I am trying to do.

GOD has something in mind or my life.  Right now though, He isn’t showing himself to me.  I have searched through every crack and crevice that I have found, but He is still silent.  I think that, at this point, maybe I’m not listening well enough or asking the right questions.  That is why I am going to chase a rainbow.

You see, to chase a rainbow, you must focus your eyes, not on the end goal, but on the journey.  If you lose sight of the rainbow or you get distracted by the rain, then you are not going to make it to the end.  And so, I am on a journey to chase the rainbow.  This is no longer about being lukewarm…it is about wholeheartedly committing to a journey…the journey that GOD wants me to take.

Feel free to share about your journey, where it’s taking you or prayers that you need.  You are also welcome to pray for me on my journey!

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Losing Time

Do you ever get the feeling that life is just rushing by?  Do you ever feel like you want to hit a pause button just so that you have the opportunity to catch your breath?  Do you ever feel like you have missed that one crucial moment that had the potential to shape the rest of your life?

Good grief.  That’s pretty depressing to think about.  I’m in college.  These are supposed to be the best days of my life.  Instead, I feel like the energizer bunny…running on coffee and the drive to succeed…and the hope that I’ll get to sleep when I’m dead.  Seriously.  There are days when I have just had to tell myself over and over and over “You can sleep when you’re dead”.  I will reiterate: that’s pretty depressing.

We have now established how depressing it is to reflect on the rapid passing of time.  So, what should we do about it?  Or–not “we”, I suppose.  What am I going to do about it?  Here’s how I plan on trying (this will get back around to the “lukewarm christian” part…maybe):

  1. Unplug.  I am too dependent on technology.  I’ll admit that.  I was without my cell phone for five hours this evening…near torture.
  2. Bake.  I’m already planning on doing this Friday…and the best part?  I don’t have to eat all of the brownies that I’ll be making.  I’m taking them to church!!!
  3. Go stargazing.  I love stars and since I live in an urban-ish/city-like area, it’s hard to see the stars.  I want to see them so badly though…I’m going to set aside a night to go for a drive, find some darkness, and reflect on the vastness and beauty of God’s creation.
  4. Hang out with some kids.  I’m helping with children’s church on Sunday!  Nothing can renew your heart like the heartfelt smiles and quibbles of kids.  It is their hearts after which mine should be fashioned…yes?
  5. Read.  During the first two weeks of summer, I read six books.  I’ve read one since then.  I want to read a book in the one and a half weeks that I have until classes start back up.  I have several on my shelf…it’s decision time!

Okay.  That’s a nice list of five.  And, now I should get back to the “Lukewarm Christian”part…yeah.  Wow.  Poor planning.  I don’t know how I’m going to do that.

God wants us to enjoy life…yes?  I think he does.  Like any parent, His heart is filled with joy when He gets to see His kids enjoying life.  When I allow myself to get so caught up in the quibbles of classes and the cattiness of work, I lose sight of why I am here.  I am here to revel in the glory of God and worship Him with every ounce of my being.  Gotta get back to the reveling!

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Kiss of the Horizon

I think that it is time to write something new on my mirror, don’t you?  So, I’ve been thinking about this for a while now…well, since last time.  Last time, I kept coming back to the song “How He Loves” by the David Crowder*Band.  I can’t remember the first time that I heard this song and I definitely can’t remember the first time that I stopped to think about the words.  At some point in time though, I stopped to reflect on them.  On their power.  Their truth.  Their significance in my own life.  In case you have not heard the song, try this link: How He Loves (hopefully that works…fingers crossed).

So, what words have I decided to take to heart over the next couple of weeks?  Which words will be engraved on my heart so that I might remember where I have come from and my purpose here on Earth?

And heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss

And my heart turns violently inside my chest.

I don’t have time to maintain these regrets

When I think about the way…

He Loves.

I cannot express in words just how powerful all of those words are in my heart.  Somethings stirs deep inside.  Something gets excited (don’t start thinking dirty thoughts, please).  He Loves, yes.  But, how does he love?

God loves me with a power and a passion that cannot be compared to any love that we mere humans have ever experienced.  We cannot fathom the depths or height of the love that comes from God.  He loves us more than I love coffee.  And, He loves us more than a parent loves a child.  He loves us when we are living good “Christian” lives.  And, more importantly, he loves us when we screw up beyond repair.  I cannot find the words to express this love…I give up.

Moving on…how do I know that He loves?  What is that line–“heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss”…yes.  Have you ever seen the horizon?  Have you ever felt the desire to chase after the horizon just to try and find the end?  The horizon is the unending kiss demonstrating the love of God.  How wonderfully divine is that?

I may not write that whole little verse on my mirror…I like to write kind-of big so that I can read the words…and my mirror isn’t huge.  We’ll see.  But, just thinking about one line will remind me of the song and the emotion that fills my heart every time that I hear this part of the song.  Whenever I hear it, my heart “turns violently inside of my chest and I don’t have time to maintain these regrets” because I have no choice but to reflect on the eternal love of God.

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