The Twin Cities Rainbow Chaser

moving across the country…to discover what God has in store

Alternate Perspective

on February 18, 2013

ImageThe other day, I sat in a coffee shop for two hours with a friend.  (Never in my life have five months left me feeling  comfortable and confident in calling someone a “friend”.)  Our conversation ranged from the current state of education, cross-country skiing plans, and our plans for the future.  I chuckle at that last one because neither of us have any concrete plans.  

I do know, however, what I don’t want to be doing in the future.  My friend was careful to suggest that living in the negative could be a risky endeavor.  Her advice was appreciated and, clearly, has been present in my mind.  But there is just so much that I fear in my future…because of my past.  I’m always concerned about the way that other people are going to look at me and think…

High School: She was the teacher’s pet.  Everything she did was perfect, of course.  None of the teachers would ever criticize her because her parents might get pissed off and go after them.  She slid by on her parents’ reputation and never did anything worthy of note.  In five years, she’s going to be back here working in the elementary school in her mom’s old classroom.  Her life will end up right back where it started…but with more cats because she’s scared of boys.    

ImageCollegeThis chick is such a cliche!  She goes to the Christian club all the time and is super-nice to everyone.  Everything she does is “perfect” and she can’t disappoint anyone.  She’s going to graduate and get a job here in Springfield probably.  She’ll work in one of the elementary schools for the rest of her life.  Maybe she could do more, but she thinks too small.  Oh wait…she doesn’t want to be a teacher?  She’s screwed.  She’ll probably move back home and work at a gas station.  Or maybe a farm.  There are farms in Arkansas, right?

Now: So, this girl moved from Arkansas, or Missouri kind-of.  And she’s doing AmeriCorps for a year.  Why would someone move to Minnesota to do AmeriCorps when PeaceCorps could have been an option?  It’s kind-of lame, ya know?  It’s like she’s afraid of moving on out into the real world.  Is she going to move back home after her year here is over?  Weak!

The way I see it, the whole world has an opinion about my choices.  And their opinions are critical.  Nothing that I have done is especially worthy of criticism.  But on the flip side, nothing that I have done is especially risky.  So where does that leave me?  Conflicted.  

Nothing new there.

2 responses to “Alternate Perspective

  1. Amanda Embry says:

    You know, after the Peace Corps, I moved back home for awhile (to a tiny podunk town in the middle of nowhere). You have to let go of what other people are going to think and do what’s right for you, whatever that ends up being.

    • EmmieElle says:

      Moving back to my tiny podunk hometown is my fear right now. But, you are right–I have to do what is right for me regardless of perspectives/opinions/advice. I should keep that in the forefront of my mind right now. Thanks!

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