The Twin Cities Rainbow Chaser

moving across the country…to discover what God has in store

The Sun Begins to Shine

Seine River at sunset

You know when the weather gets bitter and rains…and rains…and rains…and you begin to lose all hope of seeing the sun?  That describes my year very well.  I have had so many plans that have just been blown away by the wind and I’ve almost given up on moving forward…backwards…anywhere!

And thus, my hope has waned.  I have begun to feel abandoned and rejected by God.  Continuing to believe in His plan becomes more challenging with each passing day.  He has broken my heart and dashed my dreams…does He even care about me?

Just when those feelings of abandonment and the broken heart grow almost unbearable, I hear from Him.  This week, I have had two job interviews.  At the end of a phone interview yesterday, I was told that I would hear from them in a few days, a week tops.  I got an e-mail today.  They want an in-person interview!

It is hard to believe that, just as I was giving up on a future, God brings around some options.  Even though these interviews have not yet panned out, the fact that they concluded on a positive note is reassuring.  God has brought the sun out and proven that He has not forgotten about me.

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A “Welcome Summer” Rain

I looked for a rainbow today, literally.  After I sat around doing mostly nothing after church this morning, I finally decided (at 6:30 pm) that I should return a RedBox movie that I rented last night (One for the Money–not Katherine Heigl’s greatest work).  Instead of hopping in my car and driving two blocks to a gas station, I decided to walk.  The only problem with this decision was the sound of nearing thunder and the scent of impending rain.  Despite these warning signs, I grabbed an umbrella and headed out.

I never had to open the umbrella, despite the drops that had begun to fall by the time I had the disc returned and had turned homeward.  It was a light, cool rain that marred my shirt and the road.  It had the scent of spring, despite the 80+ degree weather that we have had for the past month.  Although the sun was not shining brightly, I decided to glance around on the off chance that a rainbow decided to make an appearance.  Sadly, there was no rainbow to be found.

On the plus side, God spurred me forward in my chase during church this morning.  The sermon was on praying, something that, despite my strongest protestations, I struggle to do.  I could walk upstairs and get my notes, making this post much more reliable…instead, I am going to opt to dig into my brain and give you the pieces that have remained fast in there.

One of the greatest things that my pastor said was that prayer is a privilege.  How honored are we that the Ruler, Creator, Master of the universe would choose to converse with us?  I am merely a jobless, future-less, plan-less college alum who is about to move back in with my parents.  And yet, God makes a point to reach out and touch me in more ways than I can even say.  He gives me the quiet, “welcome summer” rain.  He has given me a few close friends who do not mock my lost-ness.  He has surrounded me with people who say they will pray for me and encourage me to keep pursuing his will.

Ahh–His will.  This is something else that is in my mind from this morning’s sermon.  People talk about pursuing God’s will…yeah, just like I did.  But as long as we are living as He has called, then we are already in His will!  It is not some wild goose chase; instead, it is something that we do on a day to day basis.  Therefore, I must put aside my concerns.

I do not have to search for His Will.  He has it and that is sufficient.

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Time for a Change

When I started this blog almost two years ago, I was trying to find something more.  I knew that I had fallen into the normalcy of being a Christian and I knew that the normalcy was hurting the relationship I was trying to build with God.  In my first post, I said:

“I do not plan on discovering the purpose of life in general.  But, I would like to figure out what exactly God wants of me while I’m here, living.”

As the blog continued, I took readers on a journey through my past.  I talked about the faults in my early years as a Christian and problems that I have with the world today, in my own personal life and in the greater scheme of things.  Most recently, I wrote about the problem I am currently facing, ya know, figuring out my life.  As I have faced this inner (and sometimes outer) turmoil regarding my future, I have taken note of songs that I hear at church.  Almost every week for the past several months, I have taken the time to jot down a few lines from a song that spoke to my heart.

This week, we sang the song “Oh, Love that Will Not Let Me Go” by the Robbie Seay Band.  There is a line that talks about tracing the rainbow through the rain.  But, I didn’t hear “trace”.  I heard “chase”.  Since then, that line has stuck in my mind.  Right now, that’s what I am trying to do.

GOD has something in mind or my life.  Right now though, He isn’t showing himself to me.  I have searched through every crack and crevice that I have found, but He is still silent.  I think that, at this point, maybe I’m not listening well enough or asking the right questions.  That is why I am going to chase a rainbow.

You see, to chase a rainbow, you must focus your eyes, not on the end goal, but on the journey.  If you lose sight of the rainbow or you get distracted by the rain, then you are not going to make it to the end.  And so, I am on a journey to chase the rainbow.  This is no longer about being lukewarm…it is about wholeheartedly committing to a journey…the journey that GOD wants me to take.

Feel free to share about your journey, where it’s taking you or prayers that you need.  You are also welcome to pray for me on my journey!

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