The Twin Cities Rainbow Chaser

moving across the country…to discover what God has in store

Losing Sight of the Power

on June 16, 2011

Do you ever feel as if something in your life is just a little bit “off”…but you can’t say what is “off”?  Do you ever feel as though you are losing control of everything that you once controlled?  Do you ever feel so lost that you just want to give up and just be lost?

I sure hope that someone, at some point in time, has felt at least one of these things.  These feelings, and others that I cannot put into words, have been overwhelming my body and soul for the past couple of weeks.  There have been some fairly big changes going on for me recently, so maybe that is contributing to my pseudo-depression.  Or maybe I just have too much spare time on my hands to wallow in self-loathing, self-pity, self-insultations.

Last night, I sat on the landing in my apartment and just…cried…or wept.  I don’t know which verb is better fitting for the situation.  I pulled myself together and took care of some things–finding dinner, doing laundry, cleaning up, studying for a math test.  And then, as I was getting ready to go to bed, I felt those feelings seeping back up the surface so I turned to the internet–yeah!

I started searching for “inspiring Bible verses” online and, eventually, I came across one that had inspired me a while back: 2 Timothy 1:7.  I flipped through various versions/interpretations of the verse using http://www.biblegateway.com (my go-to Bible verse resource).  One of the versions said “calm” instead of “self-discipline”…and I needed calm.  But, that still wasn’t clicking right.  So, I went to the French versions and came across a French version of the verse that spoke to my heart.  It used the words: fort, amourant, et sagesse (strength, love, and wisdom).

I wrote it on my mirror so that, when I got up this morning, I would remember that I have no reason to be timid.  God has granted me everything that I need to get up and make each day count towards glorifying him with every ounce of my body (fort), heart (amourant), and mind (sagesse).

He has the power to make me, and you, better people.  He has the power to draw us into his arms and make the pain fade as we embrace the peace that lies within his love.

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