The Twin Cities Rainbow Chaser

moving across the country…to discover what God has in store

Nothing Doing

on July 26, 2010

You know the feeling that you get when you’re watching a movie and you’re just about to fall asleep?  You can feel yourself grasping for that last punch line to laugh yourself awake …or, maybe you’ve already lost most of your consciousness due to the twisting plot and one more plot twist will send you spiraling into dreamland.  Sometimes I feel like that at church…in Sunday School and during the sermon.  And the worst part is that I have no desire to grab that punchline.

I feel like such a…umm…a hypocrite?  Not the right word…maybe.  Whatever.  I just feel dirty when I do that.  I spend the whole worship service (besides the singing part) daydreaming about lunch or homework or…well, you know.  Sometimes it registers with me during the sermon: “Oh snap!  Maybe if I paid attention I wouldn’t be feeling so screwed up right now!”  But…I can’t bring myself to pay attention.  Maybe I’m just afraid of what I’ll learn.  Then again, that might be the problem.  I don’t remember the last time I learned something from listening to someone walk.

In my college courses, I learn more from writing stuff down than from listening.  I am a very visual learner.  And tactile.  I have to see something for it to really register in my mind.  And, it will register even better if I write it down.  The pastor doesn’t use PowerPoint for anything besides the Scripture…which I usually have sitting on my lap…lethargically.

This past Sunday one of my friends asked me a tough question that I pretty much BSed my way out of.  She asked if I had been learning anything from my [Bible] reading lately…wanted to know if God had placed anything on my mind or heart.  I just shook my head and said “No, nothing in particular comes to mind.”  Technically, that is not a lie.  There’s not “technically” about it!   I spoke the pure and simple truth.  Nothing is on my heart or my mind.

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